


"Where Is Your Heart?"

by aryas_zehral



Category: Sense and Sensibility - Austen
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-31
Updated: 2010-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aryas_zehral/pseuds/aryas_zehral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marianne died during her illness at Cleveland.  Her family and Col. Brandon try to move on without her but they can't forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Where Is Your Heart?"

He asked her to marry him. Marianne had been buried for less than a year. She did not believe his affections had transferred to her but he was a kind man of deep feeling who she esteemed highly and who respected her and her opinions. She did not love him but he would provide well for them: for Elenor, her youngest sister and her mother. He was willing for her mother and Margaret to move to Delaford- although her mother was not prepared to give up her independence as yet- and just by being an independent man of large fortune and estate he would create situations where, when she was older, Margaret would be introduced to other eligible, wealthy men. Elenor knew that she had little chance for another proposal, she was getting no younger and she was not out in Society often enough to meet eligible matches, and so it was not a hard decision, no harder, really, than deciding what luxuries they could afford at Barton Cottage. Even the practical sister, Elenor accepted Col Brandon. Her mother met the news with a practised smile and sad eyes.

They chose to marry as quickly as was respectable and, although a small wedding had been considered, it was thought that a larger party would perhaps restore morale, to an extent, in their circle of friends and family. It was there, at her wedding, that she saw Edward and Mrs Ferrars, Lucy Steele that was, for the first time since their nuptials. Edward looked sad; Lucy smug, almost as smug as Elinor's brother John whose prediction of the match stroked his ego throughout the day. Fanny was even more fiercely unapproving that ever, although not at the pair getting married who she had no mind for, instead she stole murderous glances throughout the ceremony at Lucy and Edward. Of her close family, Margaret seemed buoyed by the events, by all the people, by the food and the ritual of it all while her Mother tried so hard to be happy that she made it quite clear that she was not. Elenor tried not to notice. Tried to push all unhelpful thoughts to one side- Edward looked as charming as ever and as noble, but he was married now and had never been hers to begin with so thinking about him would only hurt her further; the match may not be borne of love but what did love have to do with a successful marriage when the alternative was to not marry and to live forever more on further decreasing fortunes?; Marianne would not have approved, "Where is your heart, Elenor?"; she missed her father; she wondered what marriage would have been like if she were a creature of feeling as Marianne had been?- and tried to be happy with her lot. The day at least went smoothly and according to their carefully laid plans.

On the night of their wedding, inevitably, they found themselves alone together. It was not the first time they had been without outside company but it was the first time as husband and wife and the weight of what was required of them weighed heavy. They stood for several minutes, awkward, and she couldn't help but imagine the laughter and relief that she imagined would have accompanied her wedding night had the story played out differently and she had been able to marry Edward instead. But there was no benefit to such thoughts and she tried, so hard, to not think on him as her husband stepped towards her to place a soft, passionless kiss on her lips. It was the first time they had ever kissed. She felt nothing but she tried to respond adequately. He suggested they undress and so they did so, methodically, calmly and she tried not to think that she had never felt so naked before even though servants and her sister had, at one point or another, seen her naked in the past. She tried not to think on how her body differed from how Marianne's had been. How she was thin and pallid where Marianne had been curved and luminous. And when her husband pressed inside of her and she felt something deep within her twist and break she told herself it was just her maidenhead and not her heart. She looked up at him and his eyes were glazed, unfocused. She tried not to imagine what he was pretending to see. She tried not to imagine wild golden hair on the pillow instead of her own dark, straight hair, that her eyes were not dull brown but instead were a bright mischievous blue. And when he spilled his seed inside her she pretended that she had not heard his breathed 'Marianne'.

**Author's Note:**

> A.N: This is the end (yeah, the end) of a larger story, the beginning of which is giving me grief. Lol. It's an AU and its the 2008 adaptation that is informing how they look. Also archived at sayra_says at DW/LJ. Written for the prompt 'grief' at PornBattleIX.


End file.
